Aspergers and Love

I apologize in advance for the lack of music therapy in this post. I also want to share my most recent idea regarding a potential Youtube vlog series. I LOVE TO COOK & BAKE THINGS. Its like chemistry but you can eat it and if all goes well it will not blow up. My supervisor recently told me I should do a series on the recipes that I come up with to help parents and their children develop meal plans and such. Cooking is a highly sensory experience and I feel that many children on the spectrum may be more inclined to eat things when they put the effort into making it.

Now that the announcement is out of the way, I shall move onto my point. 

November of 2014 my friend was doing her internship across the country and came back for homecoming to surprise everyone. I was ecstatic and cried. I was also in the midst of applying for internships myself and trying to find love on those online dating sites. I expressed to her my frustration in those sites, not that they don't work but I had no luck, and she was telling me about her distant cousin who lived in Chicago. She showed me his Facebook picture. He was standing next to the Stanley cup, he had a beard and I was totally smitten. I "obsessed" over the idea of being with him for a while and eventually let it go a bit as I got more 'hits' on the dating sites. However the idea never left my head completely. 

She mentioned it again in August of 2015 after this guy I had been talking to from yet another dating site turned out to be a real jerk. I would ask her to talk to him for me periodically and she would say she would but never really did sort of thing. She went to visit him in Chicago in January and I told her again to talk to him for me. She told me that he had just had a date on New Years Eve and I was crushed. The week of January 29th, I ask my friend again to talk to him for me so she did and I get a message from him. 

That brings me to today. I have never been more happy with any relationship I have had in the past. However I am always trying to keep myself in check because being in a relationship when you have Aspergers can be really challenging for both parties. The individual with Aspergers may need a lot of reassurance because they have a hard time reading their partner. They may be completely oblivious to something they have done wrong and won't know how to fix it until their partner points it out to them or tell them directly. 

A relationship with an individual with Aspergers can also be immensely rewarding for the NT partner. An individual with Aspergers can be tremendously loyal to their partner and their family. They may call things as they see which is exactly what the other needs at the time. They may push themselves outside their comfort zone because they want to be with that individual. 

Being in love when you are on the spectrum can be one of the most confusing things. However it is also greatly rewarding and I for one am very glad that I have the opportunity to be with someone who is understanding and supportive of myself as a person on the spectrum. 

I should also mention that if you are currently in a relationship with an individual on the spectrum or you are considering starting a relationship go for it. Part of life is taking risks and having new experiences. You could learn so much about yourself in addition to the individual when you take the time to get to know someone and hear what they have to say.