Following the Rules

Recently a woman posted a video online of her son Caleb who has Autism at his school play. The video is brief and shows a teacher taking the microphone away (seemingly) before Caleb has the chance to speak. Caleb shouts "Oh No" and cries briefly before the video is cut off.

Having been in his shoes I understand how exciting it is to be in front of others but at the same time I felt there was something missing. Turns out from other reports the mother didn't sign a permission slip for him to be in play nor did she take him to rehearsals.

Regardless of what happened I wanted to see the whole thing and decide for myself what was "fair."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eCrzfrmMFn4

That is the full 12 minute play. 

In the video I saw each child having one turn up at the microphone, patiently waiting their turn, and adhering to the rules of the play. 

High functioning children on the spectrum usually are very strict rule followers, the like routine and consistency. I did not see this in Caleb at all, what I saw is a child who probably does not have strict rules at home and is allowed to get away with stuff because he is on the spectrum. 

I know and have seen first hand that children on the spectrum can follow the rules when firm limits and boundaries are set. These children are the ultimate rule testers and will push to see how much they can get away with until they have full reign. 

It is OKAY to set limits, children (all children, not just ASD kids) crave rules and limits. It teaches them safety skills, social skills, and many others as well. 

I did not realize this until the final weeks of my internship and my group sessions went a lot better once I had rules in place and adhered to those rules. 

Do not be afraid to say "no" (but preferably in a different wording) to your child. They need to hear that. 

Tell your child what they can do, but don't tell them if it is not adhering to the rules in place. 

Follow the rules and you will be successful. 

To Stim or Not to Stim that is the Question

If you live in the United States and are reading this you may have heard that the Chicago Cubs won the World Series last night after a 108 year draught of losing or coming really really close.

 My father once told me that if you really want to be able to talk to other people then you need to watch sports, even if you don't like to. Sports are a commonality that can bring people together to have a conversation- "Hey, I'm Alex. Did you catch the game last night? Can you believe so and so threw the first pitch?! What did you think? Who do you root for?"

I never was very big into baseball until this year. I would prefer to play a sport than watch, but this year was different. Besides my godmother being a huge fan of the Cubs and imparting that on me the last guy that I dated was a Cubs fan so I watched the games to have something to talk to him about. In May I got to go watch the Cubs play the Phillies in the Friendly Confines for the very first time. That experience kicked my obsession with Cubs baseball into high gear, and if you know anything about Spectrum Obsessions you know this burns with the passion of a thousand suns.

This brings me to the point of this blog- stimming. Stimming, a word which here means, a repetition of  movement, sounds, or movement of objects common in individuals with developmental disabilities, but most prevalent in individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Essentially, stimming is a form of self regulation, not just for ASD individuals but for everyone. We ALL stim it even if we don't realize that we do. In sports it is seen in many different ways and you can usually catch the most obvious individuals being filmed on the jumbo screen. I realized that my stim behaviors have increased the more I watch sports. 

As I mentioned before when an individual stims they are doing it for a reason, trying to get sensory input in or release energy they have to create homeostasis. Last night in the world series game you saw people shaking their hands, clenching their fists, holding their faces, jumping up and down, screaming, and many other things. If you don't watch sports you could see it in the community, schools, or at work. The leg jiggler, the pencil tapper, the hair twirler, the person who always needs to chew on a piece of gum. Those behaviors help people focus on a task or release excess energy. 

I realized that when I am excited I do my "Happy Aspie Dance," basically I jump from one leg to another (if I'm standing) and do something with my hands. I've never done this before because pretty much every team that I ever followed consistently (high school football, Emporia athletics, KU Football-before I was into KU basketball) lost all the time and I was too busy playing my piccolo to care deeply. When I do this it is my way of showing people that I am really excited about something without having to talk about it and get all the excited energy out. It helps me calm down because excitement is such a powerful emotion and energy. When I'm nervous I need to pace or squeeze things and get proprioceptive input, much like Temple Grandin's hugging machine. 

These behaviors are not bad things, its part of who I am and it can be contagious if you get past the fact that I'm a 26 year old doing odd movements when I'm excited or nervous. 

If you or your child has stimming behaviors and it is not interfering with their ability to complete a task don't try to stop it. It is their way of creating homeostasis in their brain so they can function. So while this is my opinion and you will probably do whatever you want to in the debate of To Stim or Not to Stim that is my answer. Be who you are and don't let others judge you for trying to show your emotions. 

Congratulations to my Cubbies on a very well played season, you deserve to Fly the W! I hope to see you in the spring for more baseball action. Also it is my dream to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley field with my guitar to advocate for music therapy and Autism Spectrum Disorders...so if you're reading this and you have connections let me know :) 

Also check out this sweet Eddie Vedder music video of All The Way 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQWbKqFVoeQ