Rock Brain vs. Flexibrain- Dealing with the Unknown and "Rolling with the Punches"

One of the defining characteristics of an individual with an ASD is their ability to flourish in a structured and predictable setting. This could be considered their biggest strength as well as a major weakness. Individuals with ASD appreciate routine and knowing what to expect next. Speaking from experience, not knowing what will or may happen may cause anxiety that interferes with social skills that may have been developed with years of therapy.

I know that for me, the social skills groups I went to focused on what I could say in conversation, conversation starters, keeping a conversation going, and creating scenarios to practice in. I am also an avid fan of playing the Sims and think that it helped me practice those skills, albeit with a computer, when I was not at school or in a social environment. As I've aged, I will still go over and over different ways things may play out depending on what I say, how another person responds, or what the environment will be like.

Neurotypicals may have some of that playing in their heads or a little anxiety about the unknown as well but I believe that for the ASD individual it can be intensified to a whole different level. In order for anyone to feel safe there must be trust. Trust of others and the environment itself. Spiritual individuals sometimes trust that a higher being is in control and everything will end positively if they believe. For a concrete and logical thinker on the spectrum this could be very challenging to picture.

There are two types of ways for anyone to react to the unpredictable. You can have a "rock brain" towards a situation where you want to be in control regardless of how others are feeling about it or you can have a "flexibrain." Flexibrain is, simply put, being okay with others thoughts and ideas and working together to get a job done.

While those examples are more towards social interactions and group work, the same can be applied to any situation. If your routine is off because your friend couldn't come over, the cafeteria changed taco Tuesday to Thursday, or you're running late because of traffic. It is important to help your child/client/self to think "is this a big deal or a little deal."

Most of the time, it is a little deal and we just make it into a big deal by over analyzing all the potential outcomes, most of which (at least for me) end up with someone being mad at me or getting me into trouble. I work really hard to help myself and the individuals I work with plan with a positive outlook towards an outcome. It is helpful for us to predict what will happen, however it should not be getting in the way of social interactions.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/201403/using-structure-help-autistic-kids-build-flexibility

An activity you can try is to have different squishy fidgets (like water balls, putty, etc.) and some harder items or rocks. Identify which item is more enjoyable to play with. What item would hurt the most if someone threw it? What can you do to be more flexible like the fidgets?